The Antidote To Mum Guilt
“Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, that we may receive mercy and grace to help us in our time of need.”
(Hebrews 14: 14 – 16)
Parenting young children
Parenting young children can be really sometimes. It’s incredibly tiring, relentlessly full-on, and it’s a season of life that’s just full of guilt as well…
Guilt over having a career and not spending enough time with your kids, or guilt over staying home with your kids and not contributing enough financially.
Guilt over being too hard with your kids and losing your patience, and guilt over being too lenient.
Guilt that your house is clean and the dinner is cooked but your kids were ignored, or guilt that you enjoyed playing with your children all day, but now house looks like a fly-tipping site and the kids are eating processed oven food.
This stage of life
In this stage of life it’s a constant struggle for balance, and you can never quite work out what balanced is…
But if you’re a parent of children any age, but especially younger children, know that you are doing the world’s hardest job. You are probably your own worst critic. And you are almost certainly doing just great.
Do you always get it perfectly right? No… but who does? So cut yourself a little slack.
Don’t beat yourself up too much over the times when you feel like you’ve snapped, lost it, or failed to be everything you wanted. Don’t allow yourself to be wrapped up in guilt and shame. In all honesty, I think that if you get it right about 70% of the time, I think you are doing alright…
The problem is that often this world is just so darn ‘judgey’ about parenting & there’s just so much advice and opinion these days, that’s it’s hard to see the wood for the trees. And so somehow, even when you’ve given it everything you have, it often still feels not quite good enough.
Here’s my advice
Lower your expectations and stop judging yourself so harshly. Give yourself more grace. And then give some to your partner, to your kids, and to other mum friends as well.
Because this world already has more than enough critical voices in it.
And maybe instead of worrying or struggling or feeling guilty today, why not just approach His throne of grace to ask for the extra grace help you need instead? The good news is that there is no scarcity of it. There is more than enough to go around. There’s a verse I’ve always loved in James 4: 6 which puts it like this:
“But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
(James 4:6)
So lately, every time I forget or feel unsure that this is true I have to return to this scripture again and remind myself that there is always more for those who ask.
So accept his grace for yourself and your kids today. Take as much as you need today. And then take some extra just in case.
Because He is the God who resists the proud, but freely offers endless amounts to all those who are humble enough to ask…