On Being Thankful
Everyday Gratitude
The Thanksgiving Holiday may not mean much to some of my fellow Brits, but it’s a huge deal just across the Atlantic pond.
I have to admit that I always feel a little bit jealous of American family members and friends over this day of joyous feasting, celebrating, and gathering with family & friends to practise thankfulness for life’s many blessings. In fact, I’ve even been tempted to unofficially host my own British version too…
But at the same time, I’m reminded that we shouldn’t actually need a national holiday in order to practice thankfulness. The Bible says that we should give thanks ‘in all circumstances’’ after all. So as much as I long to adopt the rituals of thanksgiving myself, I want to learn to live in everyday gratitude more.
Thankful ‘in’ not ‘for’
“Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”
(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
Thankfulness is so important isn’t it? But it doesn’t always come very easily, especially when we’re facing hard seasons or challenges in life.
In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Paul writes these instructions to this early church:
"Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.”
But is it really God’s will for us to always be joyful? To always be thankful? For everything that happens in our lives? Even for coronavirus? Or cancer? Or pregnancy loss? (All of which have affected my family over the past couple of years).
Does God really expect us to be thankful for all circumstances and situations that we find ourselves in? Isn’t that just like saying ‘Don’t worry, be happy’, a nice idea - but basically not achievable as a 24-7 state of being...
Personally, I don’t think that’s what this verse really mean at all. I mean how could that ever be so? Jesus didn’t practice that kind of fake gratitude and false positivity. Instead, He pleaded the Father for another way than the cross…
That’s why I think that it’s really important to make a clear distinction between what it means to be thankful “IN” everything, rather than “FOR” everything.
I don’t believe that God expects us to be thankful for everything that comes our way, but I do believe that we can learn to lean into joy in spite of them…
Choosing thankfulness is not about denying that hard things are happening, or showing fake happiness or toxic positivity. It’s about being honest and real about the painful things, and yet choosing not to make that our sole focus.
We don’ always get to choose our circumstances and situations, but we do get to choose the object of our gaze, and sometimes that’s just an act of holy defiance.
So for me, it’s about a both/and posture. This is hard and painful and feels hopeless, and yet I still have so much to be grateful for…
Because there’s always something, somewhere.
5 Reasons to Choose Thankfulness
But while it’s one thing to acknowledge that thankfulness is possible in the midst of any circumstance, it’s another thing to actually willingly choose it when life is hard. And in order to do so, I think it’s important to first know WHY thankfulness is a such a good (and God!) idea.
Here’s a few reasons to consider:
Thankfulness is God’s will for us.
We live in a culture that is really good at pessimism, where grumbling and negativity often come more easily than thankfulness.
But the Bible instructs us to always be thankful and to practice joy in all circumstances. Why? Because this is God’s will for us. And if it’s His will for us, then we can be sure that it is for our good…
2. Thankfulness is good for us.
Well, it turns out that practising thankfulness IS really good for us. In fact, recent social research has shown that gratitude is strongly associated with greater levels of personal happiness, lower levels of stress, better sleep, a better ability to deal with life’s adversities, stronger relationships, and better immunity to a whole range of illnesses too.
3. Thankfulness is grown.
I know that choosing thankfulness in the middle of hard things can seem a bit like faking a smile at first, but like so many things we find hard at first - the more we practise, the easier it becomes.
Science shows that this is because the brain has a kind of ‘muscle memory’, and the more you use those new or unfamiliar neuro-pathways in the brain, the easier it is to choose them again next time. Until eventually they become your first, default response. And why wouldn’t we want thankfulness over negativity to be pour default response? The Bible refers to this process as ‘renewing the mind’.
4. Thankfulness is contagious.
Not only is thankfulness good for your own mental and physical health, but when you choose to speak out gratitude rather than grumbling, it also inspires and encourages others around you as well.
We know that negativity can be so pervasive, but so can the spread of gratitude too. So lets be people that spread gratitude in our homes, in our work places, and in our communities.
5. Thankfulness is a right response.
Even on the hardest of days, when we don’t feel like we have much to be grateful for at all, the truth is that we actually still do! It’s all about where we place our focus; on our abundance or on our lack.
Did you know that if you earn $25,000 (£19,000) or more annually, you are in the richest 10% in the world? We are each materially and spiritually blessed in so many different ways, and once you start recalling them, the list could just go on and on…
5 Easy Ways to Practice Thankfulness
So that’s all good and well in theory, but how do we actually proactively practice thankfulness - and not just on special days like Thanksgiving, but as an intentional lifestyle, or way of being every day?
Well, I’ve come up with 5 simple ideas for starting to make gratitude an everyday way of life below:
1. Notice the good
Sometimes life can deal us a rubbish hand, and it’s okay to be honest about that. But I’m learning that facing hard things doesn’t mean that there’s a lack of blessing in our lives or that we don’t still have lots to be grateful for either. Life is rarely all ‘good or ‘bad’. It tends to be much more complex and nuanced than that. Both good and bad things happen to all of us since we’re still living this side of heaven. But the bottom line is that it takes no more energy to be positive than negative, so why not try to focus on the good?
2. Start with the small
It’s easy to get stuck in the rut of believing that thankfulness should be limited to the really big blessings in our lives; but often looking for lots of small things to be thankful for is much easier and more encouraging than only acknowledging those ‘big’ blessings. And if you sometimes find yourself struggling to see those small, every days blessings to be grateful for, my best tip is to get out in nature. Go for a short walk and soak in God’s creation. Even if you live in a city like me, I bet you don’t have to walk too far from your front door to discover beauty all around you!
3. Speak it out
It’s great to start noticing the goodness around you, but thankfulness is also about expression too. So each time you notice something you feel grateful for, practice speaking your thankfulness out loud - both to God in prayer, and to others around you. There’s just something so powerful about choosing to affirm all of the goodness that you notice around you!
4. Write it down
Another great tool is to try recording all the things you feel grateful for too. Why not write it down in your journal, start to keep a gratitude list, or create a gratitude jar with all of your family? That way you can go back and reflect on all the good things that you feel grateful for - even on those days which feel the hardest or most bleak. You can actually see this tactic demonstrated in the Bible a lot too, especially in the Psalms. When things got hard, it’s writers often recalled God’s goodness in the past to help lift their spirit in the present.
5. Cultivate joy
Whilst noticing and recording the things you are thankful for can all be helpful, you could also go a step further by actively and intentionally seeking out moments of joy. Cultivating more joy can multiply thankfulness and be a form of worship too.
What do you really love doing? Why not decide to do more of it in the coming weeks!
Who in your life feels the most life-giving to be around? Make an effort to connect with those people more often!
What simple things in your life spark joy? Seek them out! Try to embrace those small moments of silliness, extravagance, or fun!
So that’s it - have fun growing a more thankful outlook - and be sure to let me know how you get on!