A weight of expectation?

I love the Christmas season. But it can be hard not to get lost in the pre-Christmas busyness, can’t it?

Many of us have such an almighty list of things that we need to get done this December; gifts to buy, lights to hang, homes to decorate, meals to prepare, cards to send, parties to organise, family to host, and more…

But the problem is that when there’s always more to do, we can end up losing any real sense of joy in the season. And as if all of that’s not enough of a burden, we now also live with the added pressure of trying to make every moment feel extra sparkly, magical and Instagram-able, as if it’s just been lifted straight out of the latest John Lewis Christmas ad…

It can be easy to buy into the pressure of creating ‘the most wonderful time of the year’ by cramming in lots of ‘extra’ festive activities in search of those festive feels.

But as good as visits to Santa’s grottos and Christmas markets and classes on making home-crafted wreaths or that perfect Christmas cake might be, too often when we try to do ‘all the things’, we end up moving at such a pace that we fail to pause and appreciate it all.

So if like me, you’re already feeling a bit overwhelmed by the weight of expectation in this coming season, or fear that the main focus is already slipping away, then fear not...

Here’s my short blog with 12 soul-saving solutions for a slower, simpler and more soulful Christmas this year.

At what cost?

I find it kind of ironic that the start of the advent season now coincides with the rather more cynical Black Friday sales. Of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with shopping for a few pre-Christmas bargains (I know I do!) but I do also wonder, have we lost something more important and meaningful somewhere along the way?

I recently read that here in the U.K. alone, pre-Christmas household debt last November peaked at an incredible £1.5 trillion, fuelled at least in part by Black Friday promotions and people taking on extra credit to buy stuff they can’t really afford and don’t really need - all in search of that ever illusive ‘perfect’ Christmas.

But the problem with this notion of ‘perfect’ is that however hard we decorate, prepare, hustle and zhuzh, and however much cool stuff we plan to give or receive or do over the festive season - when it’s based on purely material consumption, it never really delivers what it promises to.

And deep down, I think that most of us know that ‘the perfect Christmas’ doesn’t really exist; that it’s just a false construct created by retailers and marketing experts to try to persuade us into buying more of their services and goods. Yet even so, how many of us still tend to get sucked in?

Like me, do you find yourself longing for a slower, simpler, and more soulful alternative - a less busy and frantic December pace?

Choosing another way

If you can relate to this at all, why not join me in pausing for a moment to consider these words of Jesus, which cut right to the very heart of the matter:

‘What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet forfeit their soul?’ (Mark 8: 36)

I absolutely love this verse because it reminds me that it doesn’t actually matter how pretty my house looks, how happy my family appears from the outside, or how much cool stuff I give or receive or do this Christmas time, if it costs me my peace or the health of my soul in the process. That is simply too high a price to pay.

That’s why this Christmas I have decided that ‘perfect’ is so over-rated, and that ‘good enough’ will do just fine. In fact, it’s more than fine, if it means I can finish December without feeling over-burdened, stretched too thinly, burnt out emotionally, or disappointed because I’ve ended up missing the main point…

An alternative Christmas manifesto

Yet even with the best of intentions not to succumb to all the cultural pressure, it can still be really hard. That’s why I’m getting really intentional this year, and encouraging others to do so as well.

As part of this, I’ve created a little Christmas manifesto for myself which I’ve shared below, as well as 12 soul-saving tips & ideas.

If you find it helpful, why not consider adopting a few of these values for yourself and your family? Or maybe you could even try developing a version of your own?

My Manifesto

This Christmas I want to be more intentional in living out the values that I really believe in during this festive season, including:

• Giving over Consuming

• Thankfulness over Desire

• People over Things

• Joy Over Striving & Stress

• Authenticity over Perfection

• Truth over Hype

• Peace over Distraction

• Rest over Busyness

• Quality over Quantity or Excess

12 Simple Soul- Saving Ideas for Christmas

Here’s a short list of 12 soul-saving solutions for a slower, simpler and more soulful Christmas this year:

1. Cut back on gifts

Since our extended family has grown a lot over the past few years with lots more kids being added, we have begun to agree to limit our spending by only buying gifts for all of the kids. Another way to cut back is to agree a maximum budget spend between family members, or a arrange a ‘secret santa’ amongst the adults, so that everyone gets one main gift they want, rather than lots of stuff they don’t need.

2. Invest in memories rather than stuff

Some years we’ve also intentionally agreed to cut back on gifts in order to invest some money on family days out together instead. Because the truth is that no one needs more clutter in their lives, but everyone needs more quality time making memories with loved ones!

3. Choose quality over quantity

This year we’re choosing quality over quantity when it comes to gifts, and we’re trying to model this to our little boy as well. It’s much better for our wallets and for our planet to buy a few things that you really want and will last for years, than buying lots of things to open on Christmas morning which will probably never get played with again!

 4. Buy local and ethical

Try to think outside the box when it comes to Christmas gift shopping by finding ways to support small, local and independent businesses. And even if the convenience of online shopping is your bag (and there’s nothing wrong with that - it’s also mine!) there’s still plenty of ethical alternatives to Amazon. Not On The Highstreet, Etsy.com, and CheerfullyGiven.com are all really good places to start!

 5. Shop second-hand

Another easy way to curb some of that excess, is to consider shopping second-hand. Buying a new bike or scooter or dolls pram for your kids? Why not try eBay, Facebook Marketplace or other local sites first? Looking for something unique? How about starting with some charity shops or vintage markets? Not only is it better for the environment, but with so many families and businesses under financial pressure, it’s also a much cheaper option too.

6. Do a Secret Santa alternative

Instead of wasting money on a Secret Santa amongst your friends or work colleagues, why not agree to donate the amount you would have each spent to a good cause instead? For example, you could buy a few goats for a village in the developing world, or make a donation to a local homeless charity. How great to be able to make a difference to someone’s life, rather than just buying more junk!

7. Start with giving

We’re also looking to start this season off with some simple acts of giving that we can do with our son to help him learn that Christmas is not just all about the toys he wants to get! For example, this year we are planning to make some Christmas cookies and drop them round to our neighbours, and to buy extra food during a supermarket shop to donate to our local foodbank for families who find themselves too stretched.

8. Make some extra space

Every year we also make some extra pre-Christmas space in our home by having a good clear out and taking some bags of old clothes and toys down to a local charity shop, where it can be recycled or shared with other families in need. I find that this practice of letting go of things I no longer use, not only makes more space in my home but also more space in my heart too.

9. Re-write the rules

With so many extra expenses to pay out for in December, the pressure on some individuals and families can be unreal - especially in the midst of a cost of living crisis. So why not consider some more inclusive and less expensive options that reduce the burden on everyone? For example, try planning a girls night in over takeaways and games, instead of an expensive evening meal out with friends. Quality time with family and friends doesn’t need to cost a lot.

10. Choose people over perfection

I find it so easy to get drawn into the lie that ‘everything has to be perfect’ at Christmas time, but this year I really want to choose quality time with people over all that hustle and hard work. And in order to really come away rested and feeling like I’ve had chance to relax and enjoy the season, that might mean I also need to make a plan to let some of the small stuff slide for a few days…

11. Spend time in the Christmas story

It can be so easy to get so busy and distracted by cultural norms, that we forget to spend enough time actually reading and reflecting on the first Christmas story during advent. So this year I will also be reading a daily advent bible study every morning as a focus , and also working through the Christmas story as bedtime reading with my son too. You can check out my recent blog on Making Advent Meaningful for more ideas/resources.

12. Practice daily gratitude

As a way of combatting the effects of the endless marketing assault which is this season, I have also begun keeping a daily gratitude list in my journal or on my phone notes, recording three things that I am grateful for each day before I go to sleep. I plan to do this every day throughout the advent season. Why not try it too?

A final thought

I appreciate that none of this thinking is particularly revolutionary or earth-shatteringly new, but isn’t that exactly the point? Small, simple changes are almost always the most manageable to adopt and sustain.

Also, if you have any other ideas to add to this list, I’d love to hear them! Please do get in touch below & let me know…

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